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Q) How does an Allansian adventurer talk to a giant?

A) Use big words.

Q) Why do you never see a skeleton chasing an adventurer across a road?

A) He didn't have the guts. Ho Ho He He!

The city of Zengis (also known as the City of Wares) has the largest concentration of temples, priests and priestesses in Allansia. A plethora of religions are worshipped by the inhabitants. Zengis’s largest church is the Celestial Hall, a temple to Asrel under the control of the High Priest Fhan Myorang.

The famed Strong arm adventurers known as Armstrong, Bigneck and Crystal were recently welcomed by the local inhabitants of Silverton after a perilous quest to the Mountain of Deathrise in western Chiang-Mai.

Q) Why do elves have pointy ears?

A) There's got to be some point to elves.

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Q) What does a dragon call a party of seven brave adventurers entering into his lair?

A) A buffet. He He!

Q) Why do hobbits have hairy feet?

A) Because they don't shave them. He He!

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COMPETITION 3: Tricks n' Traps
Win Fighting Fantasy™ Books

All the Fighting Fantasy™ Gamebooks have some pretty terrifying creatures that you may encounter on your travels. How many of you read the Warlock of Firetop Mountain and discovered the portcullis levers, or even worse fell to the many devious traps and puzzles in Baron Sukumvit's deadily Deathtrap Dungeon in both the Gamebook Deathtrap Dungeon and the Trial of Champions?

Joint Winner 1: - Ruined Tomb! by Becky

As our character is wandering down the seemingly endless quantities of lefts, rights and forks within the infinitive passages the tombs provides, they will be stopped in their tracks by an eerie call, one which tells of fear, neediness, yet warning all at the same time.

Hopefully curiosity will draw our hero towards the source which will lead to a 'thankfully' large cavernous room, which will be chiseled with ancient tongues, not unusual within such areas. However now the call will become slightly more high pitched, radiating once again the fear, neediness, warning, and now also slight desperation as it's audibility seems nearer.

Upon searching for the source our characters eyes will latch onto a small feline like creature, it's small lithe body will be covered via shimmering white fur (which stereotypically demonstrates purity and innocence) and will have huge saucer like eyes, brimming with fear as it makes eye contact with our hero. It's ears will be small and pointy, with tufted tips which cove slightly towards each other, stealthily portraying the likeness of horns. (usually used when interpret the devil) By most however, it will be overlooked, as it's large, stereotypically cute and fearful eyes will be the main drawing of the gaze. Our little feline creature will also have many tails, 6 to be exact, once again portraying the usual 666 numbering of the devil. Yet once again this will most likely be over looked.

As our character draws nearer the little feline it will immediately shoot into an open passageway off the large cavernous room in the left direction, (because it isn't the 'right' way to go geddit!! sorry please stop reading now if you like) and at this point it will become apparent the creature is bleeding from one of it's hind limbs, leaving a distinctive, silvery coloured trail of blood in it's wake.

Now this trap is designed to play on one of the weakness that cannot be easily trained to fight against, the feelings of guilt, sympathy, and concern. The perception of a small 'angelic' creature whom radiates purity and innocence could naturally at first be presumed to be slightly suspicious, however when our hero see's that it is bleeding and evidently injured this is when the feelings of wanting to help are made to shine through. The fact that it's blood is silver also emanates purity and innocence, as does the fact that this creature is supposedly frightened of our character and intends to get away rather than fight. Perhaps cliche` but usually effective.

Our character will hopefully, depending on whether they fall for the trap or not, follow the felines tracks of blood and end up in another cavernous room, however this one will subsequently be studded with jewels (or whatever is relevant to the story line, but it must be something needed or wanted by the character in question.) The little white feline will be curled up by a distinctive cracked wall, it's beautiful large eyes gradually closing as it's bleeding seemingly amplifies, the poor cute little thing! could this be the end of it?

Our hero could leave and let the little creature die (Turn to xxx) or could help it as it has so far led us into quite significant rooms, and now seems intent on heading through another, it's little body straining with pain as it does so (Turn to xxx).

If our character decides to help the feline in whatever way they wish, maybe they have natural remedies, magic etc the feline will respond marvelously to the treatment, it's limb will heal fully and it's eyes will become bright and shining with adoration to it's savior. It's perfect little form will leap onto our character in question, settling itself intently upon their shoulder and refusing to budge.

Now it's possible to save themselves once again by ridding their body of the creature, however the feline seems intent of showing it's gratitude by calling it's eerie cry in the direction of a left turning (not right again) and naturally our hero will be obliged to follow the directions. The 'Kitties' 6 tails will now hang loosely over the opposite shoulder to which it is sitting and will tighten securely about the characters neck as a loud thud is audible as a large door shuts behind the hero as they step into the felines desired room. The tails continue to constrict the neck in what seems like fear as they are both now enclosed in the room, and the constriction will also cause difficulty to breath for our poor character.

A low eerie cry will now be audible, similar to the one our little injured shoulder occupant made yet this one will be lower, and have a harsher, angrier tune. Finally, stepping from an umbra-shrouded corner will be a huge feline like beast. It's fur will be shimmering white, it will have pointy ears with tufted tips which cove slightly towards each other, large saucer like eyes and 6 tails. Yet now, more importantly, this one will have huge teeth as well..... Oh dear, it looks like our poor little kitty was trying to get to it's mother, and with your help it found her. Only she doesn't seem to realize you were helping her little progeny and is ready to attack. Obligingly our shoulder ornament does kindly release it's hold of our characters gullet, leaps onto the floor and bounds ecstatically to it's mother whom stands over it protectively, not realizing her kitten is gazing at you with loving adoration.

This huge cat like beast is going to attack our hero, and to live we're going to have to fight one mean battle!! Good luck because this trap is tough and the beast is going to fight to the death. What a foolish thing to do, letting a cute little creature get the better of you, and perhaps get your life taken too. And to make things worse, once you've lived through the fight (that’s IF you do) you're going to have a hard time finding a way to open the lairs doors. but there is a way, your going to have to find out yourself though.

-Hint- Maybe the little kitten can help

-Note- Perhaps our character would be able to keep the little feline offspring once the battle is won. It could possibly come in handy at a later stage during the game with it's amazing sense of direction. So in fact, the kitten did lead you into a trap, but if you get through it successfully it could also amount to a hidden treasure as well.... Your choice, was it worth it or not? Well the kitty would make a cute shoulder ornament for the rest of your travels regardless and when it grows up it could be brilliant for protection too.

Now lets think up some cute names for it.

(Congratulations Becky! This was another unusual entry with an original idea. Your signed A3 poster will be with you in the new year! - Ed!)

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